I just recently watched the episode of Seinfeld where Jerry brings into question the way he is leading his life and determines that he's not a man, but merely still a child...dumping people for small idiosyncrasies, looking at something at first glance and deciding right away that he doesn't like it...making fun of just about everything, living alone and still eating sugar cereal for 2 out of 3 meals of the day...not getting married or having long lasting relationships because the other person (whomever it is) does "weird" things that he can't imagine living with for a month, much less the rest of his life, etc...and it came to me...THAT'S ME!...I am, in fact, a large child...I am a walking Seinfeld episode...I do ALL of those things and more and I think it's just to KEEP people away...don't get me wrong...it's not that I don't like people per se...most likely it is because, I love my alone time to the point where anyone being around for more than a couple of hours completely interferes with the other things I plan on doing or want to do...I'm completely immature and self-centered, but at least I can admit it...I want to do, what I want to do, when I want to do it...and I don't like other people standing in the way...Even though, I guess, other people could be enveloped into what I'm doing, and may even have fun doing it...I don't want to babysit or make sure they are having as much fun as I am...I guess that is something I really need to work on...every time I think I've made a step in the "right" direction, however...I literally INVENT a reason to sabotage said event and bail on it...I guess, at this point I am completely stuck in my "ways"...how ever damaging they may be to my relationships with people in general...I do like people, but I guess it's safe to say that I like me more...I know when I'm hanging out solo, that I'm not going to be disappointed in any way, shape, or form...my psyche doesn't want to handle a "hang out" where complaining and drama is what's on the menu...it also doesn't want to deal with doing something that I find boring to appease another person and make them happy...it's not a fan of compromise...I guess the only way to bring people in without shutting them out, is to find more people out there that are like me...people that occasionally like the company of others but enjoy spending the majority of their time by themselves and honor the other person's reasons for wanting solitude and respect that by leaving them alone in those times...Even though I'm invited to do many things...I participate in maybe 1 out of 20...it's just the way I am...the folks that truly know me respect this feature, they may not like it very much, but they respect it...and I, in turn, respect them...I show up to the important things, birthday parties, christenings, family reunions...it's just the random nights of barhopping and the Pampered Chef Parties and things like that I bail on...I also don't want to lead guys on, just to have something to do either...I think that is a quality people should respect quite frankly...I'm not wasting their time, or mine...There are folks in this world that like to be on the go and constantly surrounded by other people...and there is nothing wrong with that...I just don't happen to be one of them...just sayin'... :D
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ReplyDeleteYikes, KR, I just read you dig Nostradamus sooooooooooo I just had to send you this.....
ReplyDeletewww.youtube.com/watch?v=vwc65bf99_o
SOGS,
Tor